With Lunatic Pandora In The Distance
by Starla1
Summary: A short introspective piece that takes place right after Seifer has thrown Rinoa to Adel.


With Lunatic Pandora In The Distance

With Lunatic Pandora In The Distance.

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Disclaimer:_ All the people and places in this story belongs to Squaresoft. This is just something I do for fun, I didn´t actually make any money out of this if someone actually thought so. _

About the story:_ This takes place right after Seifer throws Rinoa to Adel and it is about his feelings as he is standing outside Lunatic Pandora._

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It is time. Time to make amends, time to change. Is it to late? Who would care for me now? My two only friends has left me, they betrayed me. No, I mustn´t think like that. They were right, things were getting out of hand. I was wrong, I hate to admit it, but yes, I was also weak. I followed Edea, I was her knight. But when she was defeated...I turned against her too. I should have protected her, stayed by her side but no, I didn´t. I allied with Adel; I never knew loyalty. Fujin and Raijin did. They stayed with me, they fought my battles. But they saw what I did, and then they couldn´t take it anymore. But they didn´t leave me, no, they tried to save me. Save me from myself. Tried to get me away from the sorcerres, they tried to make me do the right thing. But of course, I didn´t listen. Damn pride and damn hate, damn all feelings. Oh how I wish I didn´t have so many regrets, how I wish I didn´t feel. Raijin, Fujin, I´m sorry, I should have walked away with you. Then at least I would have done something good in my life.

This horrible shadow. In my mind, yes, but that is not what I´m talking about right now. I´m talking about the darkness that covers the ground, that blocks out the sun. I brought it here, again I´m responsible. It hovers above me, it will always do. Lunatic Pandora. God luck Squall. Ha ha, you would be surprised if you heard me now. As Raijin and Fujin said; you are all we got now, and that is true. I hated you, and I will hate you until the day I die. Still I pray that you will succeed now. Beat Adel, make my wrongs right. Save Rinoa. That´s right, I have walked out on Adel. I left as I saw her reach for Rinoa, I couldn´t watch anymore. I don´t want to hurt anymore, not myself and not the ones that I...love. But I had to leave, I couldn´t fight with you, not side by side with Squall. He will come out of this battle as the victor, even if Adel wins. He will always be the one who fought for the world even if he fails. I couldn´t stay because I have to go after my friends, I have to make something right before I die. If Adel wins she will come after me, she will take her revenge on me. Or maybe even worse, she will let me die with the rest of the world, I didn´t mean anything to her. And everyone will know that. Maybe they already know, yes, they probably know. I was stupid, I didn´t see what everyone else saw. Squall, this is the last time you will have to make up for my mistakes, that is the only promise I´m ever going to give you. Don´t let our paths cross again, I wouldn´t be able to bear it. The shame, it would be too much. Sorry Squall, I messed up, but at least you will be the hero when all this ends, maybe you should thank me after all. I would trade places with you in a heartbeat. But I guess it is your destiny to be the hero, and mine to make you one. See now why I said you should thank me? I guess not, you never really cared about things like that. That is why it´s so unfair, you are living my life. I shouldn´t ponder about this anymore though, I said it was time to change and I meant it. So good bye Squall, save Rinoa, save the planet... save me. 

One last look, what is that thing really? How did I get it here? Lunatic Pandora, we were supposed to see victory beyond this world together. But now I leave, I fear it might be too late. The world might go down. Life might end. There is one thing I have to do first. I have to catch up with my friends, with Fujin and Raijin. They must be told how sorry I am. If they don´t forgive me, well, then I hope Adel turns out to be stronger than Squall. I hope she destroys me and the whole world because I will have nothing without my two friends. After all if they don´t find it in their hearts to forgive me then who will? No, don´t think like that. It can´t be too late, I must believe that.

I didn´t notice, I´m out of the darkness. The shadow Lunatic Pandora cast on the ground, I´m out of it. It reached further than I thought but at least I got away from it. Everything is different here in the sun, isn´t that strange.   
"Squall! Get her!"  
I know, he can´t hear me. But at least my thoughts are out now, drifting in the wind. My final good bye to you, dear rival. I swear, I will never forget you. Save the world for me. 

Is it them? There in the horizon. Raijin, Fujin, I want to call out their names, make them stop. But what if they don´t. What if they will just turn their back to me and walk away? Wait, they have stopped. Did she just wave to me? Oh dear Fujin, thank you. They are coming towards me, I can hardly believe it. No, I´m not crying, this damn sand gets in my eyes. And it makes my throat ache as well. Ok, maybe it is tears, but I wouldn´t really know. I wouldn´t smile if I were crying, right? Fujin, Raijin, they actually forgives me, things doesn´t look so bad anymore. No, not so bad at all.

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A Note: Hope you like this little piece. It's old, it's been over a year since I wrote this but I just read through it now and thought that it was kinda good after all, so I decided to post it here.

You like Seifer? Then check out my site. [][1]http://www.dirtymirror.cjb.net/

   [1]: http://www.dirtymirror.cjb.net/



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